The Bro

How to Identify a Bro:

Said guy must fit five or more of these conditions to be labeled a “Bro”.  After identification, action from there on out is per your discretion.  You have been warned.

  1. Does he own 3+ sports jerseys?
  2. Does he own a pink t-shirt?
  3. Does he own a pair of knock-off Jordans?
  4. Does he use the word “Dude!” more than 3 times in one sentence?
  5. Does he still talk about Frat life?
  6. Does he wear his baseball hat backwards, especially unnecessarily (aka. the sun is out)?
  7. Does he wear sunglasses, especially unnecessarily (aka. he’s inside)?
  8. Does he call his guy friends “Broooo”?*

*Automatic Bro-enrollment

Not all Bros are bad.  Not all guys are Bros.  However, the fact that Bros exist is yet another glimmer of evidence revealing the gender inequalities that persist in our American life.  Bros perpetuate this modern macho patriarchy that was supposed to have dissipated years ago with the idea that there are only Stay-at-Home-Moms.

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